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Men are complicated

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Author Topic: Men are complicated  (Read 21066 times)
sky2979
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« Reply #40 on: 2 December 2009, 07:12:42 »
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Quote from: Mad Russian on  2 December 2009, 01:29:12
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. We alot of times don't know what we had until it's gone as well.

If you're what he wants he'll be back. If the relationship can't survive this then it wouldn't have survived the really tough times that couples can go through.

Good Luck with this either way.

Good Hunting.

MR


wow...you're right.......and its just as simple to understand...I think sometimes we make things harder to understand,...lol...I'm sure everything will be ok..." I know it ".......thanks MD...besos...hugs....
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Jilly
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« Reply #41 on: 2 December 2009, 20:21:56 »
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It's still not easy though is it, Sky?

For me what really hurts is the betrayal of trust,  the thoughts, ideas, and many conversations shared that now seem to mean nothing.  That's what really hurts.

You show someone your inner self, he and you share your deepest thoughts and feelings and now you feel like he has just stamped on those and all over your heart and soul,  and that is a form or betrayal, perhaps the worse type.  And then he ends it without enough respect for you to explain why, it leaves you confused and in the dark. It's enough to make you lose trust in people.  But DON'T let it!  Not everyone man out there is an asshole.
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Jilly
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« Reply #42 on: 2 December 2009, 20:44:27 »
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Sky,  the other things is some men (and women too come to that),  will end a relationship because they know it's on the way out anyway, for whatever reason, and is simply, not going to work.  So it a matter of dumping or being dumped.  And let's face it, it hurts less to dump someone, then the other way around.  And in a lot of cases they both might (and probably do), still have some feelings for each other,  but it's the only thing to do.  Not sure if this is your case or not.  But I think you should at least try and talk to him about why.  Worst thing is not knowing, and then you can let it go and concentrate on your life and what makes YOU happy again.
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Rattler
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« Reply #43 on: 2 December 2009, 21:55:47 »
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All wise words, could not say it any better!

Rattler
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« Reply #44 on: 2 December 2009, 22:11:30 »
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Thanks, Rattler.  I'm not just a pretty face you know.   Smiley
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sky2979
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« Reply #45 on: 3 December 2009, 19:02:30 »
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Last night,..during my waitressing night job...he dropped by........a total shock and surprise...lol........since he hadn't called I figured I would just move along with my life...but, there he was.....standing at the door, staring at me..lol.... I instantly knew that what we have means something to both him and I Smiley....I dont what the future might hold for us...but what I do know is that I love him *big smile*...God is good  xangel...

P.S. After work we drove to his place and had an awsome night together, lol.... Knipoog
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« Reply #46 on: 3 December 2009, 20:06:09 »
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Nice to hear, onwards!

 milbravo drama      iconrock

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« Reply #47 on: 4 December 2009, 14:57:05 »
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Don't tell us your Momma didn't warn you about Anglo men Sky... Knipoog

Glad it all worked itself out.

Good Hunting.

MR
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« Reply #48 on: 4 December 2009, 19:56:32 »
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I have a few questions, did he apologize for 'his' intransigence? Or did he lay the prob on you and once again seek your apology? If the former, there is a chance for romance, if the latter, dump the chump and save yourself from further heartache.
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« Reply #49 on: 4 December 2009, 20:38:32 »
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A similar thought crossed my mind too FACman.  Is the guy playing games with you?  He must realize that you like him a lot, and in a way that gives him power.  Mostly to play with your emotions and to 'keep you in line'.  By holding back an apology, it makes it look like it was all you own fault that he was in a mood.  This way, next time, he has the upper hand, and you'll think twice about what you say to him...

I might be wrong,  it might just have been a misunderstanding between you both.  But just in case, it happens again, you'll be more aware of what's going on...

btw I HATE these kind of mind games,  it would make me want to chuck him, just for playing them.
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Rattler
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« Reply #50 on: 4 December 2009, 22:00:51 »
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Quote from: FACman on  4 December 2009, 19:56:32
I have a few questions, did he apologize for 'his' intransigence? Or did he lay the prob on you and once again seek your apology? If the former, there is a chance for romance, if the latter, dump the chump and save yourself from further heartache.

100% on my line of advice. Ask him about how he feels (your fault, his fault, does he talk about guilt?), and listen closely: Any "blame" is a bad sign fom my POV

Seriously dump him if it was just "power" games: In the "test above" check whether he was not stating how much he missed you and that he didn´t realize the importance of the problem, and that it wasn´t one for him... If he doesn´t utter (reluctantly is ok) two of the three, you will face a bigger prob next time as you will have to cope with his "I won last time" layout... (sorry for being cynical, but with some ppl - men and women alike - it is just like that)

EDIT (hadnt seen the follow up): Jilly, FACman, seems we are riding the same wave!


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« Reply #51 on: 4 December 2009, 22:47:21 »
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Quote from: Mad Russian on  4 December 2009, 14:57:05
Don't tell us your Momma didn't warn you about Anglo men Sky... Knipoog

Glad it all worked itself out.

Good Hunting.

MR



LOL....The thing with white men is that they are not passionate or romantic...LOL....they wont hug you just because, or kiss passionatly on neck, back and so on..lol..its harder to tell whats going through their minds...and while they might be more carefree about how he house looks..or if theres a warm meal or "not" they're just harder to figure out..lol....
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sky2979
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« Reply #52 on: 4 December 2009, 22:55:17 »
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You know guys you might be right??? sigh....hes so used to using power....dont know..sometimes he does things that leads me to believe he really likes me..then suddenly he'll do otherwise..he did tell me though that hes very careful about his feelings..and therefore his walls are up....-vs- me...im like the total opposite...I tell him his wonderful all the time....pamper him to the fullest...im very passionate and romantic...i honestly dont think hes used to that....I dont recall him apologizing...he did say me missed me terribily though lol.... waa ....my point.........."Men ARE complicated" lol...besos everyone..........
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« Reply #53 on: 4 December 2009, 23:18:44 »
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His walls might be up, because he's afraid of getting hurt.  People get like that after they've been hurt a few times. And if he's the kind who's used to 'being in control' AND on top of that is a military man,  you might be in for a rough ride.  Hope not though,  Sky,  I hope he falls madly in love with you,  you are worth it and more.  But just my (random) thoughts...

I truly believe there are some men (and women) out there who simply don't know HOW to love or give love.  I think they have just never learned. Strange though that may sound to you and me,  Sky.
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FACman
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« Reply #54 on: 4 December 2009, 23:30:10 »
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he did say me missed me terribily though


Does he also play the fiddle?

He doesnt apologize for leaving you hanging for days, but missed you terribly, sorry, but your being played. This guy appears to be a control freak.

As I have stated many times before, with a couple of dollars and my opinion, you can get a cup of coffee.
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sky2979
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« Reply #55 on: 4 December 2009, 23:47:44 »
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Quote from: FACman on  4 December 2009, 23:30:10
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he did say me missed me terribily though


Does he also play the fiddle?

He doesnt apologize for leaving you hanging for days, but missed you terribly, sorry, but your being played. This guy appears to be a control freak.

As I have stated many times before, with a couple of dollars and my opinion, you can get a cup of coffee.


You may be right......His position and job is driving him nuts,...so sometimes I dont know whether its me or his stressful situation......and what Jilly said might be true as well....lol...hell Im just gonna take it one day at a time....its not like im married to the guy....Im single...independent.....have my own house..and tickets to Las Vegas LOL!!!!...........I think I'll be the one changing things around here pretty soon Knipoog lol....besos.........
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« Reply #56 on: 5 December 2009, 13:00:13 »
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I think I'll be the one changing things around here pretty soon


Change that to 'I'll be the one changing things around here pretty soon.' and you'll have me aboard. What rank is he by the way?
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sky2979
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« Reply #57 on: 6 December 2009, 00:49:09 »
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Quote from: FACman on  5 December 2009, 13:00:13
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I think I'll be the one changing things around here pretty soon


Change that to 'I'll be the one changing things around here pretty soon.' and you'll have me aboard. What rank is he by the way?


He's a Captain....has lots on his plate...his battery is going nuts..and he gets the blame for it...so while I feel he really likes me...I know theres other things on his mind....sigh....well see...besos...
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« Reply #58 on: 6 December 2009, 16:46:05 »
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his battery is going nuts..and he gets the blame for it


From my 10 years in the military (got out as Staff Sgt) responsibility flows uphill, so if there are problems in his Battery, they 'are' his to take the blame for. I take it he doesnt own this responsibility, anymore than he did for treating you poorly. Bad signs when someone can always find others to put blame upon. Good luck with him, as I believe your love blinds you to the truth.
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« Reply #59 on: 6 December 2009, 19:31:15 »
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Quote from: FACman on  6 December 2009, 16:46:05
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his battery is going nuts..and he gets the blame for it


From my 10 years in the military (got out as Staff Sgt) responsibility flows uphill, so if there are problems in his Battery, they 'are' his to take the blame for. I take it he doesnt own this responsibility, anymore than he did for treating you poorly. Bad signs when someone can always find others to put blame upon. Good luck with him, as I believe your love blinds you to the truth.


Like I said before...I decided I'm moving on..making changes and focusig on other things and goals in my life Smiley.........I have a trip to Vegas coming up...life is weird mos times...I always say that good things fall apart so better things can fall together....sigh....well see....
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