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Author Topic: What do men look for in a woman?  (Read 30756 times)
Jilly
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« on: 29 September 2009, 21:20:39 »
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I think many women are confused as to what it is that men  want.  Do they like the 'bad girls'?  or do the want the 'good girls'?   Do they go for looks above intelligence every time or does it depend?    If a woman is unattractive, but very intelligent would that seal the deal?  Do men like women who are independent or who like to depend on them?  Would it matter to you if a woman was rich or poor, would that make a difference?  Does she need to have a good sense of humor?  What is it that men look for in a woman?  Maybe something that is not listed here?  I'm curious.  Honest answers only please.  Thanks.   congrats
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« Reply #1 on: 29 September 2009, 21:45:58 »
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 Geschokt
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Jilly
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« Reply #2 on: 29 September 2009, 21:47:27 »
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Well, that's honest.  Smiley

 What does it mean though?   Huh?
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Rattler
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« Reply #3 on: 29 September 2009, 23:33:32 »
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Wow, we are coming to one of the mysteries of life in general here...!?

I have a first take, and I will do it in "automatic writing" without censoring or ordering my thoughts, that will then be done in your replies (and I won´t always add "From my personal POV" but that is what I am going to post, and I am also not responding to the inherent "What might women look for in men"):

- Men are first (meaning the first time ever they spot a female) attracted by looks, that´s how our genes have made us, and it happens at the first glance (wihtin the first second):

Quote
Barnaby J. Dixson1 Contact Information, Gina M. Grimshaw2, Wayne L. Linklater1 and Alan F. Dixson1
(1)     School of Biological Sciences, Victoria University of Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand
(2)     School of Psychology, Victoria University of Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand

Received: 2 February 2009  Revised: 14 April 2009  Accepted: 29 April 2009  Published online: 18 August 2009

Abstract  Studies of human physical traits and mate preferences often use questionnaires asking participants to rate the attractiveness of images. Female waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), breast size, and facial appearance have all been implicated in assessments by men of female attractiveness. However, very little is known about how men make fine-grained visual assessments of such images. We used eye-tracking techniques to measure the numbers of visual fixations, dwell times, and initial fixations made by men who viewed front-posed photographs of the same woman, computer-morphed so as to differ in her WHR (0.7 or 0.9) and breast size (small, medium, or large). Men also rated these images for attractiveness. Results showed that the initial visual fixation (occurring within 200 ms from the start of each 5 s test) involved either the breasts or the waist.

Both these body areas received more first fixations than the face or the lower body (pubic area and legs). Men looked more often and for longer at the breasts, irrespective of the WHR of the images. However, men rated images with an hourglass shape and a slim waist (0.7 WHR) as most attractive, irrespective of breast size. These results provide quantitative data on eye movements that occur during male judgments of the attractiveness of female images, and indicate that assessments of the female hourglass figure probably occur very rapidly.



- Every man has his personal "prey scheme", mine e.g. describes (in order of how our brain makes us males look at stuff) small tits, long legs under a slender body, heavy eyebrows, looooong eyelids, and (!) a hawkish nose - better still with a little hook! - (I will inevitably fall for the classic greek profile if the nose does is not totally straight), and where you can look inside the nostrils from the side (don´t ask me *why* this is so, I am just reporting data here  Huh?).

Some examples of my personal prey scheme (with one of the ladies I actually shared a few years, and: No, it was not the first in the row Smiley ANd, <es, the last three are the same lady):


- On 2nd glance, it´s how the lady moves (body language, I am assuming here that you spotted the potential mating target from farther away)

- When getting to close combat, it´s (unconsciously, but you can revive it to your conscience later) all about smell...!

- Once these parameters are "in the green", it gets more diverse: The lady opens her mouth and says something, and you might just be thrown back of your bar stool... or the opposite

Once having mated things get weighed differently again:

- Whining drives me away, nagging also, and women that are jealous just make me actually go looking for the fun I am getting punished for when I did not even think about it.

- Materialism drives me away (probably because I alwys have some but never much money)

- Multi-Facetted is a must: A lady who can lift a lost anker, sleep under pine branches in the mud, does not mind getting dirty/cold/hungry/ugly, can punch a guy when neccessary where it hurts, knows to paint the house, etc... is high on my list, but also: The lady who can dress up like the latest model for disco and can survive a Gala being the center of attention and do so easy handedly gets higher on the ranking list. If then she is additionally the erfect cook and in general states "I like everything", can show affection and - most important of all - can follow me intellectually and challenge me phislosphically, then I am game.

- All is perfect if more than 80% of the following sounds true to my woman (as you can see I deleted a few I don´t value as important, and I added a few that were missing):

Quote
000. The most important thingy, and where most things go wrong as ladies often if not always tend to do it at reverse (this one is serious, take the rest with a grain of salt): If something we said can be interpreted two ways AND one of the ways makes you sad or angry,  we meant the other one.we meant the *other* one.

000b: (Almost as important): If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing", we will assume nothing’s wrong (!) and act upon this assumption

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1b. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

4. Shopping is not fascinating.

5. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.

6. Unless the answer is yes.

7. In which case, can he videotape it?

8. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

9. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

11. Money does not equate love.

13. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay.

14. He heard you the first time.

14b. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

16. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.

16a) Tell him about your problems only if you want him to solve them.

17. Of course he wants another beer.

21. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Matrix".

22. "Fine!" is not an acceptable way to end an argument.

23. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.

24. He was not looking at that other girl.

25. Well, okay... maybe a little.

26. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...

31. Your (select appropriate item butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

32. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will NEVER fake an orgasm.

33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.

34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.

36. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

37. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt / Antonio Banderas / Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with.

41. Watching soccer is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the half-time show to act upon that...



And now I have to turn in... More wisdom-sharing tomorrow...  whistle

Rattler
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« Reply #4 on: 30 September 2009, 00:52:14 »
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I think many women are confused as to what it is that men  want.  Do they like the 'bad girls'?  or do the want the 'good girls'?   Do they go for looks above intelligence every time or does it depend?    If a woman is unattractive, but very intelligent would that seal the deal?  Do men like women who are independent or who like to depend on them?  Would it matter to you if a woman was rich or poor, would that make a difference?  Does she need to have a good sense of humor?  What is it that men look for in a woman?  Maybe something that is not listed here?  I'm curious.  Honest answers only please.  Thanks.   congrats


I think that requirements change with time, in the short term people are drawn toward attractiveness but in the long term independence, intelligence, trust and personality become the dominant traits.

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Alan65
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« Reply #5 on: 30 September 2009, 04:33:45 »
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Not sure this is going to help, but it's true that we judge you at first glance (and from a distance.)  I'm not able to define the exact combination of posture, attitude, shapes and sizes but--like art--I know it when I see it.
I also am attracted to a certain laugh; joie de vivre is essential.
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Koen
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« Reply #6 on: 30 September 2009, 04:47:01 »
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What do men look for in a woman? is not the correct question...we can only answer to the question 'what do YOU look for in a woman'?

there's the general way the hunter acts/reacts
& the personal view on the matter

ofcourse the general briefing is the same as Rattler has given you...lenght and dimensions...presentation (the way she moves, how she turns her head, how she talks)...the look in her eyes (the eyes always tell a lot! not only for women but for every human being)...when you get closer the smell is added (the right amount of perfume, too much is too much, you need some balance between and perfume and bodysmell) and then finally you talk to eachother. These first sentences are very important!!!

only for the looks

When I fall for a woman I could start telling very stupid things... whistle, a respectful woman maybe giggles abit but will respect you and take your babbling as a way to say 'damn girlie, you make me feel very weird....I definitely feel attracted to you'

When I get into a conversation with people about women, attraction etc I always say that you have 2 kind of women: the ones you wanna take home for 1 night and the ones you'll give a chance to stay longer.
Those for 1 night are the ones you see on numerous erotic websites etc.
Those that you'll give a chance are seen in model photoshoots.

1-nighters, just for the looks:


those who have a chance to stay, only talking about the looks:

as you can see, looks, I have a strong attraction to dark (long) haired, not skinny, brown eyed women... congrats

the looks and the woman herself
What do I find most important? The Looks or the Brains? Well, a nice mixture of both is welcome. Finding both at 100% is almost impossible...
But...when you find a woman who gives you what you need she'll become better looking in your eyes as a reaction to your mental state, read 'happiness'.

I dunno if you know the sentence: a woman should be chef-cook in the kitchen, a prostitute in bed and a psychiatrist when you are stressed!

I had lots of short and longterm relationships, always felt very attracted to the girlies and still I'm married to Karine who is 11 years older, already had 2 grown-up daughters, who had no money etc
We are now almost 9 years more than happy, we fit together and I asked her to marry me in 2008. And yes, some basic thoughts should be the same: the importantance of money, luxury, friends. What do you want to achieve in the future? Those thoughts shouldn't be 100% the same but mixable to a good result that satisfies both parties.
A good woman is the woman that when she's not around you, you feel incomplete. We always do everything together...not because we should or must but because we feel better when we do...a feeling but hell, it's always about feelings...

So what do we look for?
We don't look for anything, it's something that happens...sometimes it's in a split second...sometimes it happens only when you know someone for weeks or months...
It's a feeling...how does she make you feel?

ok,enough for this time of the day...05.30AM  hatsoff
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« Reply #7 on: 30 September 2009, 15:01:14 »
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This is all such interesting stuff,  I'm really learning something here.    arrow

I guess it all boils down to the fact that we are all different, with different likes and dislikes.  perhaps some of the things that men look for in a woman have similarities to what women are looking or in a man? For instance,  I really like men who are intelligent, maybe that comes even before looks.  But a sense of humor is a must have.  A good looking hunk with no brains can get boring real quick. 

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« Reply #8 on: 30 September 2009, 15:03:28 »
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I really like men who are intelligent, maybe that comes even before looks.  But a sense of humor is a must have.

you know where to find me  hihi  congrats  Knipoog
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« Reply #9 on: 30 September 2009, 17:09:49 »
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koen,  you're too cute and funny!    congrats  <.............for you too.  Smiley

Um....just one prob....you are married, no?   whistle
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« Reply #10 on: 30 September 2009, 17:17:33 »
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, yes he is Smiley xangel
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« Reply #11 on: 30 September 2009, 17:17:44 »
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Rattler,  I'm a little surprised at your choice.  I always thought that men went for women with cute little noses, no?  I'm guessing that the woman that was your girlfriend the forth one on the top row?  

I agree, that the 'first' thing that attracts us (whether male or female), are the looks.  Then it's a combination of things:  the smile, eyes, their demeanor (how they move), color, as in hair, eyes and perhaps skin tone?.  For instance,  I'm not attracted to Indian men at all.  I have no idea why,  not even the really good looking ones, kind of strange I know.  I'm also surprised that so many white men go for me.  I thought they would go for the white ladies more, but not always so...

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« Reply #12 on: 30 September 2009, 17:41:03 »
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For me colour or nationality never makes a difference.

But I like girls who are nice, that are faithfull, and who respects me for who i am.
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« Reply #13 on: 30 September 2009, 18:03:55 »
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The fourth one in the bottom row is Dutch and she is fake...
Her hair is fake( extensions)
Her boobs are fake( implants)
Her lips are fake(Botox)
And on top of that , she has a huge alcohol problem.....

Really a women you want to marry....... Brede lach

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« Reply #14 on: 30 September 2009, 18:07:14 »
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The fourth one in the bottom row is Dutch and she is fake...
Her hair is fake( extensions)
Her boobs are fake( implants)
Her lips are fake(Botox)
And on top of that , she has a huge alcohol problem.....

Really a women you want to marry....... Brede lach




read what I wrote:

Quote
as you can see, looks, I have a strong attraction to dark (long) haired, not skinny, brown eyed women...

 
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« Reply #15 on: 30 September 2009, 18:37:02 »
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Now I know why you like my wife Knipoog  hihi hihi xangel
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« Reply #16 on: 30 September 2009, 20:44:54 »
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Rattler,  I'm a little surprised at your choice.  I always thought that men went for women with cute little noses, no?  I'm guessing that the woman that was your girlfriend the fourth one on the top row?

Got it spot on, respect! (usually gals chose the 2nd as my ex gf).

Her name is Christine Reinckens, a (then) great and now famous painter, photo realist and doing great when it comes to big sizes - from Kassel, Germany:











Now, for example, apart from the looks, she had all I described above: She could (and can still I imagine, we are talking ´83 here) take all kind of blows and smile, and work...

Rattler
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« Reply #17 on: 30 September 2009, 22:57:47 »
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What an extremely talented lady!  Are the paintings at the bottom self portraits? 

I admire strong women...
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Rattler
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« Reply #18 on: 1 October 2009, 05:36:16 »
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What an extremely talented lady!  Are the paintings at the bottom self portraits?  

I admire strong women...

In my time I have seen a lot of self portraits from here (though the one you mention is not), at that time she painted often people wrapped in all kind of cloth (I still have a catalogue here). She has some more interesting stuff on her homepage, including some self portraits (top  middle), also she does stillife, mostly large triptychons, where her capacity for photo realistic painting finds a great field.

She earned her money in that time as a court artist (in Germany taking pictures in court is forbidden).

A strong woman in more than one respect.

Rattler

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« Reply #19 on: 1 October 2009, 15:43:23 »
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Amazing.   A really good artist.
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