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Author Topic: Just random thoughts and conversation thread  (Read 75378 times)
Jilly
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« Reply #120 on: 4 January 2010, 19:10:49 »
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No mixing of authority and respect here, Ratter.  There were teachers in school that nobody liked, but they HAD TO respect their authority. You see there's more than one way of looking at this.

 
btw,  Rattler,  there was no need to get personal in your previous post.  It just shows desperation of a lack of an argument on your part.

okay,  koen, I hear you,  I'll stop here.
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« Reply #121 on: 4 January 2010, 19:14:35 »
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No mixing of authority and respect here, Ratter.  There were teachers in school that nobody liked, but they HAD TO respect their authority. You see there's more than one way of looking at this.

 
btw,  Rattler,  there was no need to get personal in your previous post.  It just shows desperation of a lack of an argument on your part.

okay,  koen, I hear you,  I'll stop here.


nobody told you to stop girlie...you should know better  congrats...I just wanted to reply to the first question but the 2nd was already asked and replied to....that's all
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Rattler
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« Reply #122 on: 4 January 2010, 21:18:10 »
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-snip ...btw,  Rattler,  there was no need to get personal in your previous post. -snip-

Ooops, sorry if I did, but what are you refering to? I revisted my post and cannot find anything that would qualify as personal attack, I think it was argumentative throughout? Just curious to evade future incidents...

Jilly, you are mixing authority with respect, methinks. As commander I have the authority to give orders (and can demand they be followed), be it with or without my guys respecting me (though I will have it a lot easier if they do).

Re: Your bolded section: 1st: Even when and if you have "demonstrated that you deserve it" you cannot *demand* respect. 2nd: You do not demonstrate that you deserve respect "by giving it to others first" (though showing respect where due is well wrothwile, and doing so in front of others is good for their learning), it is usually fairly small things that earn you respect that do not even necessarily have to do with the field you are working in.

Anyway, all said from my side now, let others chime in.

This said, I apologize if I did or said something that might be received/understood as a personal attack, it surely was not intended as such, trying to make my case.  congrats

Rattler
« Last Edit: 4 January 2010, 21:24:06 by Rattler » Logged

"War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left...": The Rattler Way Of Life (thanks! to Solideo)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9v3Vyr5o2Q
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« Reply #123 on: 4 January 2010, 21:28:36 »
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That's not what I meant.  But never mind, just forget it.

Some flowers for you too  Smiley   .......>   congrats
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Mike
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« Reply #124 on: 20 January 2010, 19:38:02 »
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Hey guys, i hope everybody is doing fine?
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Koen
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« Reply #125 on: 20 January 2010, 21:00:16 »
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Hey guys, i hope everybody is doing fine?


hey Mike, all fine here, busy busy at work....how are you doing? did you meat some nice nurses lately?  hihi
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« Reply #126 on: 22 January 2010, 01:53:13 »
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hehehe yeah i met a few, but they all had boyfriends  Grijns i swear to god every nice girl i meet is taken :p
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« Reply #127 on: 22 January 2010, 17:18:25 »
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Hi Mike,  long time no see.  Keeping looking, she will turn up.
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Koen
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« Reply #128 on: 24 January 2010, 21:20:24 »
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am I excused to go personal, private and soft?

without telling a pages long story about the past I would like to share/discuss some personal thoughts

I'm a thinker, I think too much...I even have to take pills to stop brainactivity when I go to sleep or else I go crazy...
And I'm a go'er...every time I start a job I go for it 200%...even to far...further than I can walk...more that I can take..

this has everything to do with how I was raised...I was never good enough...always 2nd behind my brother...and my mother was a nervous wreck with all kinds of sicknesses and pills...so, as some of you know, I need confirmation...
luckily enough I found Karine who helped me ALOT in changing myself into an acceptable me....not curing, there are no pills....but living differently....more selftrust....and realising what my pros and contras are...

more and more I start to feel that I'm less strong than I want, less stressfree than I wish and too much perfectionist for most works...

so when I look at my present job I doubt...is this job fitted for me? last week was hell, as you might know I'm responsable for the 'parts' in a garage.
we have 2 brands, a repair-workshop and a body-workshop.
2 brands means 2 seperate ways to work at the same time, PC programmes are totally different which makes it very tough...
2 shops means that I have to give parts to around 10 people and do the management of the warehouse and...well....I start to feel it's too much for me, certainly when you want to do it right...
last guy was fired because he didn't move from his chair and I think that finally I would be doing the same...there's so much paperwork and computerwork that it's impossible to keep doing what I've been doing the last/first months....working as 2
last week the woman-boss her husband started to help me but I'm not sure this will solve it all...

until the end of March I work under weekcontracts and I start to wonder what to do.

again change job?
when I do what should I look for?
something less stressful? maybe stop challenging myself?
just take an easier job?

I know that you can't answer my questions but I wanted to share my thoughts and well....talking about it makes it easier...
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Mad Russian
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« Reply #129 on: 26 January 2010, 05:26:42 »
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TALK TO YOUR NEW BOSS!!! See what they think of how it is going and how  you feel it is going.

Good Hunting.

MR
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Jilly
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« Reply #130 on: 26 January 2010, 17:36:15 »
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koen,  I do understand you.  Mostly because from what you write  I see similarities in myself.  I think a lot of how you are stems from childhood experiences.  (You probably already know this).   And if you have a brain, and an intelligent one, those experiences can affect us in a more profound way, because we can annalize them and see just how wrong they were, now as well as back then.

It's really good that you have Karine in your life, someone who understands you.  In that way we are the lucky ones, we found someone, either in our past or now, who can (at least to some extent), help us take the less destructive route in life.  It can be a life saver.

My advice to you would be to do what you really want to do, and what makes you happy.  I know you have talked about travel in the past, maybe that is what you need?  If you can afford to take a year off and do that,  it will make you see many thing differently, but do it in a way that it starts at the grass roots.  By that I mean, not in a 'touristy' way, but the real thing.  Experience each place and see what you can learn from it.

Try not to get too stressed out with the little things in life,  they will pass.  Life is just full of ups and downs, and nothing, but nothing, ever stays the same.  Be true to yourself, and follow your heart. 

PM me, if you need to talk further.
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Rattler
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« Reply #131 on: 26 January 2010, 18:33:06 »
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I thought I had sent that, but doesn´t seem to be the case...

We have a saying in Spain, along the following  lines:

- Problems with your work? Boss problem...

- Problems with your work in the next job, or: 2nd time: Interesting...

- Problems with your work 3rd time, start thinking! (i.e. meaning to say: *Your* problem)...

I recall your elogies about your new job, as well as your issues with the old one, it seems you are always up to the same thingy after some time? Maybe double check your takes?

Wednesday last week was a very confusing day for me....

I felt very bizar at work....panic...walls coming closer...no way out....until I faded out a couple of times...black spots...

I was so crazy to continue working until 7PM.

Went to the doctor that evening....belly all swolen up [correct English?]...

went to the clinic on monday where they 'abused' me twice from behind...once with a laxation tube and once with a camera-cable...

tuesday was another visit to the clinic...and again...hop they went in....again with a tube with fluid and air to give the external camera some better shots...

just imagine how I felt...3 penetrations and a night on the toilet in 12 hours!

clinical conclusion: no sickness

back to the doctor: well Koen, as I thought...too much air in your abdomen bowel (?), how?

probably hyperventilation due to panic...caused by the workpressure....too long too much...

I've been telling them for the last 6 months...guys, it's too much...do something about the problems at work...I can't take this much longer....
I phoned 1 of my bosses and gave him some hints about the why's of my current problem...he didn't get it...

This all made me think....alot... I made myself 1 promise for 2009...take care of my health...

So I need to do something... I'm currently, since last week wednesday, on sickleave and should restart on monday.

But when I even think off going back I start to panic and hyperventilate...not a good sign.

I'm carefully looking for a new job....even sent a letter to the Dutch Land forces to see if they want me...crazy idea...a 39-year old Belgian applying in Holland for military career...we'll see...
K


I'll give you some ideas:

he comments on:

the noise I make walking up and down the stairs...
the coffee machine MUST be filled each time with 1/2 a bag...not less...not more
coffee must be served in white cup for men, red cup for women, sugar/cookie/milk have their correct locations on the tray
he has a problem with us using colours when writing
the . on a i has to be a . and NOT a °
830 is not the same as 8.30 and definitely not 8,30...we can only use 8.30

and so on...


0600hr this morning awake as a fresh chicken in the chickenshed...

worry worry....thinking hard and deep...what should I do? (when I get the chance ofcourse)

the gain in freetime/less work hours/evening hours is more valuable then the small loss in paycheck

there's ofcourse the high-tech exciting environment (Audi) of one job compared to the boring work of the new one

but with the new job I'm quite my own boss with the rules very clear (food) and only 1 boss to report to compared to an autistic boss with several instancies checking us out 24/24 7/7 (Audi).

there's the loss of a company's car (Audi) but with the new distance of 6km.'s I don't really need one...except for the weekends ofcourse.....

ah...we'll see...tomorrow I have to call him to tell him if I agree with the pay and how long I need to stay with the present company.


today was a great day...I said STOP to pissing on my head...no more shit stuffing on my shoulders...ENOUGH is ENOUGH

the last 2 weeks I had to keep the firm open and running...

telephone...fax....planning....clients....technicians....E V E R Y T H I N G....and today the boss was back...

man...after almost 3 years I confronted him with HIS acts and attitude....wooowwww...what a relieve to say what I wanted to say...

the problem with people who have problems in their 'head' are that they don't realise it...the whole world is against them but who's to blame? the WORLD!

in 1 year they lost 2 people at the desk....who's to blame? them!
he has problems at different locations with different people? THEY are to blame...

never he/they look into the mirror...always there's something else to blame..............

we'll see what happens...he said he will fire the 'scumbag' next to him (ME) and I said he should do what he thinks what's the best for him...

and for sure....I won't feel sad...done ALL that I could...

this means I'm not so into HEAVY discussions or matters at the moment....


Rattler

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« Reply #132 on: 27 January 2010, 17:59:01 »
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old and new one are not the same, neither the job description or the environment

yes, I do have a problem (as most people have)...I can't go to work just to do my hours...I'm motivated...I want to do it well....professional...

since monday I have an aid, the bosses husband....he does the easiest things but it saves me time so it's ok for me...

I must admit that my female boss does listen to my grieves and comments...GO GO GO
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« Reply #133 on: 27 January 2010, 18:02:00 »
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koen,  I do understand you.  Mostly because from what you write  I see similarities in myself.  I think a lot of how you are stems from childhood experiences.  (You probably already know this).   And if you have a brain, and an intelligent one, those experiences can affect us in a more profound way, because we can annalize them and see just how wrong they were, now as well as back then.

It's really good that you have Karine in your life, someone who understands you.  In that way we are the lucky ones, we found someone, either in our past or now, who can (at least to some extent), help us take the less destructive route in life.  It can be a life saver.

My advice to you would be to do what you really want to do, and what makes you happy.  I know you have talked about travel in the past, maybe that is what you need?  If you can afford to take a year off and do that,  it will make you see many thing differently, but do it in a way that it starts at the grass roots.  By that I mean, not in a 'touristy' way, but the real thing.  Experience each place and see what you can learn from it.

Try not to get too stressed out with the little things in life,  they will pass.  Life is just full of ups and downs, and nothing, but nothing, ever stays the same.  Be true to yourself, and follow your heart. 

PM me, if you need to talk further.


well, I'm always busy but mostly it's a kind of work I'm doing....even when posting and researching stuff for WaT it's some kind of work....the brain is active etc...

I really need to re-start 'running', 'bicycle-biking' and maybe perhaps 'bike-biking'....

enjoying without thinking.....RELAXING  congrats
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« Reply #134 on: 27 January 2010, 22:30:45 »
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Sometimes that's the only thing to do, Koen.  Mindless physical stuff,  can be very therapeutic.
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Jilly
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« Reply #135 on: 2 February 2010, 21:31:29 »
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koen,  I like your sigline.  I was going to make one that said:  'don't hate me just because I'm beautiful',  but I didn't want to look like a show off!   Knipoog

I'm a little pissed off today,  there's some business I needed sorted out by springtime and it looks like it won't a happen until August.  I don't like waiting!  But then again, who does?

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« Reply #136 on: 2 February 2010, 21:34:21 »
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And then,  I need to make a trip to the UK at some point in time, to see my mom.  Actually  I need to go and live there for 2 or 3 years, to sort other stuff out.  It's a long story.  Just as well I'll be free to do that by then...
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« Reply #137 on: 3 February 2010, 15:29:19 »
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On saturday morning I shall return to Ar-kansas for a couple of weeks, but it shall be a sad journey for me, even though I shall see my Halfside Mary. Our dog 'Koda' (friend in Lakota language) has been having troubles walking on his right front leg for several months now, due to a breakdown and loss of cartilage in his paw. Now he has been found to have cancer as well, it has already metasticized and is in his lungs. So it shall be farewell for our son of 11 years as we send him to the otherside. He is by far, the greatest four legged koda I have ever known and I thank Grandfather for gifting me with such as he.
 
Koda's story will remain one of great fondness for me until the end of my days. He was brought to the Vets shop where Mary worked one night after hours, to be euthanized  due to malnourishment and dehydration. Animal control officers had found him as a puppy on the edge of survival. The night tech saw it differently, she immediately inserted a catheter and started pumping in fluids and started feeding him. By next morning, he was a rambunctious, yet still weak, puppy. When Mary got to work that morning she fell in love with him immediately and brought him home with her that night. Since I got home later than she that night, I arrived home to find a sheepish looking Mary standing outside the back door, not something she usually does. As I got out of my truck she opened the door and out bounded this bundle of energy, eager to make my acquaintance. Mary said she could take him back if I didnt want to keep him, but Grandfather had other plans for us.

The little fellow would go to work with Mary in the morning, where she would spend her breaks giving him the love and attention he had missed in his young life. Since I got off work earlier than her, I would stop by on the way home and pick up our 'son' from doggie day care, and spend the next couple of hours working on training him. The very first day I brought him home, he proved to be an apt and willing pupil for he was sitting upon command by the end of our first session. The next day, he learned to lie down and the day after that, he learned to talk. He was always eager to please and loved the games of fetch and hide and seek immensely.

When we moved to Newman Lake, we found that he loved being in the water. Even in winter with the lake frozen he would claw at the ice trying to get to that which he knew was there. While at the lake, Mary and I had the opportunity to do wildlife rehab and through it all, Koda was the surrogate brother to all the squirrels, Crows and Ravens that came through our household. It was especially funny to throw a ball and watch this big  Rottweiler run to get it, with a Crow, Raven or Duck on his tail trying to beat him to the prize (which they never did as fetch was Koda's game) We had a domestic white duck that we had to raise one year and that may have been Koda's best friend ever. I have attached a pic of them together. They were inseparable until we found a home with a pond and other Ducks for our feathered ward.

So it shall be a melancholy visit for me this time around...



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« Reply #138 on: 3 February 2010, 18:16:46 »
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What a lovely dog, and what nice memories you have of him FACman.  It is sad when you have to let something you love so much, go.  But at least he had you and Mary all those years and you had him,  so that is good.
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« Reply #139 on: 3 February 2010, 18:52:52 »
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man's best friend
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